I broke today. (Well, yesterday. But because I haven’t slept, it feels like today.)
I’ve been off coffee for almost three weeks.
But, I’ve been so tired and I’ve been craving it.
My husband brewed some in the morning, poured me a cup, and without really thinking about it, I took a sip. And honestly, I was kind of put off and didn’t drink it.
But then, I pulled up to Tim Horton’s, and for some reason, today of all days, they had no decaf. So, I took their smallest regular coffee.
And then, at lunch, I asked my husband to grab me a decaf, and there must’ve been some miscommunication because he came back with regular again.
I blame the universe. It was pushing me to break.
I’ve been craving coffee so much that I’ve been downing decaf (which I’ve read is even worse than regular) like it’s water. (IT DOESN’T WORK.)
The problem is that coffee gives me the shakes. It always has. But it seems to have gotten progressively worse.
And even more so now because it gives me palpitations. I feel like I can hear my heart beating in my ears.
And those palpitations give me a constant supply of adrenaline, and then I’m just dizzy and stressed out. And I seriously lose it. I can’t think straight. I can’t get anything done.
This is probably all a sign of liver problems.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, my liver hurt at the end of the day.
Yeah, I really should see a doctor.
Add that to my list of things to do.
But, coffee — can’t live with it, can’t live without it.
If only I could have some kind of natural downer while still drinking coffee. Oh, I’d be in heaven.