Being A Mom

The Day I’ll Completely Lose It (AKA The First Day of School)

This is it.

For us, the first full day is still a few days away but, how we got here, I just don’t know.

For years, I planned on homeschooling. Even after I had gone back to work full-time after both my parents got sick, I made lots of plans. I had even started a pre-school curriculum. I had set up a classroom in an extra bedroom in our house. I really wanted to make it work. But, I had to face the difficult decision of letting that idea go when our situation didn’t improve. (In fact, it kind of got worse. Mom’s still sick. Dad’s since passed away.)

Then, last week, one of my husband’s friends pointed at me and said, “You’re gonna lose it next week!” Then, he just laughed.He’s got four kids, all of them already in school, and he knew I was about to face that emotional roller-coaster most mothers inevitably have to experience: Their son or daughter’s first day of school.

His wife summed it up pretty well. It’s the fear that you’re no longer going to be the centre of your child’s universe. It’s a milestone — almost like one of those moments where you feel it’s the start to the rest of your life.

I found myself being emotional even while I was perusing the grocery aisles for snacks and lunch items. I found myself almost breaking down, while picking up juice boxes I knew would inevitably wind up in my daughter’s lunch box.

These past few weeks, I’ve found myself buying calendar and agendas, making printouts, just preparing for this week. I’ve planned and planned and planned but I know, nothing will prepare me for that day.

Every mom has told me and I believe them. I probably will lose it on Friday.

For most of you, your kids will be going back today but this is my eldest’s first year — EVER. So, she’s going to go to orientation tomorrow first, before going full-time on Friday. (Her school does “staggered entry” for newbies.)

So, three more days to go.

I’ll let you know how that goes….

🙂

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