#BringJasonHome · Mental Health

UPDATE: Once a soldier, always a soldier…

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Update from GoFundMe: Hi everyone!! I know it’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted an update. I didn’t feel up to sharing every single thought or event over the past month or so. (I know, what a surprise.) I thought I’d post an update sometime over the past few days but it was Memorial Day weekend and it didn’t seem appropriate since it’s a solemn celebration in honour of those who paid the ultimate price for us.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, Jason was moved up to Level 2 (see previous update). This meant he could FINALLY see the kids. But because of Mother’s Day and staff shortage, he wasn’t able to see the kids until last weekend. It was the first time Charles, Liberty and Alanna had seen him in 3 months.

I also spent a few hours with him during visitation on Saturday and for the first time, Jason and I had a serious talk about the future. It was a really difficult conversation.

He kept talking about re-enlisting after he got out of there. I know it’s not about me but it was very hard to listen to. He kept talking about wanting to go back to the army. Wanting to do more. Wanting to give more. That he had so much more to offer. He wanted to be medically fit enough to go back. I just didn’t really know what to say.

I tried to explain to him that I felt he had already given so much. He didn’t see it that way.

Being a soldier was all he ever wanted to do. It’s all he feels he knows how to do. He feels like he was very good at his job. Given everything that’s happened, the chances of him being a soldier again are probably pretty slim.

The only other dream he’s ever had was to become an Ohio state trooper and that’s probably not in the cards now either.

I think all this weighed heavily on him.

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Then, I drove back to Canada and tried to have a normal week. I threw a birthday party for Alanna yesterday — it was almost 2 months past her actual birthday. There were a lot of smiles and everyone was happy but it was a pretty tough weekend.

Probably one of the toughest since all this started.

I mean this with nothing but the utmost respect for our fallen heroes but every story I read, every interview I watched — it just reminded me of Jason. About him wanting to give. Him wanting to give more. Wanting to give all of himself.

Anyway, I decided to post this today (Tuesday) instead of yesterday because Memorial Day isn’t about us. It’s not about me. It’s not even about Jason. But it was still a very emotional weekend.

My heart goes out to those that paid the ultimate price for our freedom. I hurt for the families that have been left behind.

Thank you to those who serve.

All gave some. Some gave all.

Superheroes are great.

But to me, the real heroes are those who put their lives on the line for us.

That’s real strength. Real honour. Real character. Real integrity.

I hope we never forget it.

Have a great week everyone!

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