Wow. That’s a deep one given our current situation but OK. Challenge accepted. I’ll try not to tear up while I write this. Let’s move it up a couple of days to Sunday, May 13, 2018: Mother’s Day.
I will wake up in the morning. Hopefully, I slept in — even if it’s for only 30 minutes.
Jason and Alanna have probably snuck out of the house to go buy me a pack of Kit-Kats (Alanna seems to think this is my favourite chocolate — it’s actually Twix but hey, I’ll eat any brand of chocolate — LOL!) and a pot of pink phalaenopsis orchids. Jason’s probably left me a cheesy greeting card.
Being Torontonians in the Cleveland area during the Spring sports season it’s pretty interesting. Lol!
From GoFundMe: Gonna try and keep this short and sweet. 🙂
When Jason was admitted, he was admitted to the first available bed, which wasn’t the unit he was meant to stay in. We had set up all these medical appointments with the VA but unfortunately, he was moved and all the proper paperwork was not put through so, his medical appointments got postponed.
Anyway, he was finally properly assessed and cleared to go to his appointments on Friday. They decided to kill two birds with one stone and expedited him to Level 2 (since the forensic team was coming out to clear him to go to medical appointments, they decided to do the level 2 assessment, also). The paperwork isn’t written up yet but, we’re told he got the thumbs up.
Disclaimer: I’ve forgiven my dad. We talk now. I don’t write out of spite or resent. I write because I want to share my experiences with people. If you are going through any kind of trauma, you are not alone. It may seem like you are in the moment, but there are people who love you, and care for you, and are wiling to help you when you are ready.
I don’t have a lot of memories of my childhood. I remember the gist of things that happened but there are a handful of “vines” in my head: Six-second clips that constantly loop in my mind.
Trauma is funny that way.
I never intentionally suppressed my memories and yet, I have a hard time recalling a lot of things that happened.
From GoFundMe: If you haven’t heard by now, Jason was found Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity on two counts, a third one was dismissed. He was ordered to be hospitalized until doctors feel he’s safe for release into the community. The Toronto Star (http://bit.ly/2q420sv) and CityNews (see below) did a follow-up.
I’m confident he can start the process of transitioning back into the community sooner, rather than later. He’s doing really well on his meds.
In many ways, hospitalization is good news. But, it’s also terrible news because it means that The State could be in our lives for the next 10.5 years, and it means we’ll be apart for at least the next 6 months, as his first assessment likely won’t be until October. (The psychiatrist at the hearing said she felt it was important Jason be near his family and advocated for him to be moved closer to home. I’m glad we got that on the record but, I’m pessimistic that the State would be willing to lose jurisdiction over the case.)
I’ve always been critical of the fact that despite how sick Jason was, he was constantly taken back and forth between the hospital and jail. He spent 116 days in custody, most of that time in county lock-up. After the trial, he had to wait in jail for a bed at the hospital. Also, his thyroid issues have remained largely ignored — which could actually be fatal if left untreated. Continue reading “UPDATE: Jason is NOT GUILTY”→
Update from GoFundMe: Prayer warriors: I am appealing to you all to pray, meditate and send all the positive vibes you can our way.
Tomorrow is Jason’s status conference, which is a hearing of sorts. It’s my understanding that a lot has to be done at this meeting and a lot needs to be put on the record.
We’ve already received the second assessment regarding his diagnoses and it backed up the first assessment so, there can’t be any more assessments to slow down the case. The only thing that could potentially stall the end is if the judge, defense and prosecution can’t agree on conditions.
Hopefully, a roadmap will be set to the end of Jason’s case and we’ll have some idea of when this will all end.
If you all recall, Jason’s case entered the 5th month last Wednesday. As of tomorrow, his case would be 125 days old.
The last court hearing — when the judge revoked Jason’s bond on the same day he had a crucial appointment with the VA, and several other appointments shortly after that — that day kind of broke me emotionally. It really shattered my hope that there’s any kind of justice in the “justice system.”
We’ve had our wins. Two favourable reports are certainly huge victories but, it’s really disheartening to know that while the system is changing, it’s still lagging behind compared to the research and dialogue regarding mental illness and justice-involved veterans.
Google reminded me of what we were doing on this same exact weekend a year ago. It reminded me of this family photograph we took in Ravenna when we came down for his eldest son’s birthday. I will leave you with this photo.
Update from GoFundMe: Hello! It’s been two weeks since my last update so, I figured a detailed update was due.
On Friday, March 17th, Jason’s forensic psychiatrist submitted the second psycho-diagnostic assessment. Based on conversations I had with her, I believe she will agree with the first assessment, which diagnosed Jason with having PTSD, comorbid with being on the psychosis spectrum. (His VA psychiatrist believes it stems from his second tour in Iraq due to events — yes, plural — he experienced in theatre.)
Originally, we were told there would be a competency hearing within 10 days of the report being submitted but it turns out, there will NOT be a hearing in the near future. Instead, there is a “status conference” scheduled for the first week of April, presumably so that all sides can discuss their positions and decide how to move forward.
Thus far, the prosecution has remained fairly neutral. That’s what they promised and that’s what they’ve done. (Mind you, they decided to remain neutral AFTER they stacked charges against him. But — that’s another story.) Continue reading “UPDATE: Jason is back in jail”→
On one of the days I was scheduled to visit Jason, I took the kids to Akron Zoo. It happened to be the day Snowstorm Stella pummelled the midwest. Lol. That didn’t stop us! (We really missed daddy. Going to the zoo is a family tradition that Jason started.)
I wanted to make a video in support of Bell Let’s Talk Day, however, so much has happened over the past few years alone that, I couldn’t find a topic to focus on. So, I decided instead, to touch on a little bit of everything to show I how much I love and support everyone involved in mental health awareness and those that are working to end the stigma of mental illness.
Something is happening today. Not prepared to share what. This is all I’m willing to say. Please pray it goes well and Jason comes home soon. Thank you.
Lesson #3: Kindness can you get you out of the stickiest situations. One time when we were living in uptown Toronto, we had gotten a bit lost and were stuck in a dark, somewhat secluded streetcar stop. I could see a guy across the street eyeing us. He made a beeline for us and I thought for sure he was gonna rob us. Jason made eye-contact with him and simply said, “Hey, what’s up?!” And, something changed in the man’s demeanor. He got kind of nervous and said, “Hey, man. Um, can I get a cigarette off of you.” Jason said, sure. As they smoked Jason asked him what his name was. The guy laughed. He said, “Call me Jesus.” Jason said, okay, sure. They started to talk. They talked about life, money, hardship. The guy had an incredulous look on his face, like he couldn’t believe how Jason was treating him. He stuck out his hand and said, “Thank you.” He looked down at Jason’s watch for a second as he shook his hand. Then, he shook his head, said, “See ya around!” and ran down the street into the darkness. Nothing happened so, we’ll never know for sure. I swear to God, Jason’s kindness stopped that man from robbing us.