I wrote this the other day, and it pretty much sums up the point I want to make…
I can end this post now.
Continue reading “Music, poetry, gratitude and hell…”
When I was in my late teens, there was a karaoke bar that I used to go to with my friends.
There was always this middle-aged guy who would be drunk way too early, and he would get up on stage and sing Wildflower by Skylark to me.
I never knew his name. He never asked me my name. We weren’t attracted to each other or anything. We never talked. But, right before I left, every time I went there, he would get up and sing me this song.
It was flattering and it also cracked me up.
After everything that’s happened recently, the song has come back to haunt me. There’s one particular line that’s on constant loop in my head.
The way she’s always paying for a debt she never owes.
Marrying young Continue reading “OK. So, I’m a little… er… a lot bitter…”
There’s something very awkward about having a public persona.
We live in a world where people Google you after you first meet. They make assumptions about you and know tidbits about your life that are most likely, way out of context.
The publicity was necessary. I wanted to make sure Jason didn’t go to prison.
There’s a lot of things that can’t be put on the record or the judge won’t allow it to be on the record. It was important to me that our story be told so Jason could get the help he needed.
I advocated so hard and so fiercely that it took a lot from me. Continue reading “Soul searching…”
Wow. That’s a deep one given our current situation but OK. Challenge accepted. I’ll try not to tear up while I write this. Let’s move it up a couple of days to Sunday, May 13, 2018: Mother’s Day.
I will wake up in the morning. Hopefully, I slept in — even if it’s for only 30 minutes.
Jason and Alanna have probably snuck out of the house to go buy me a pack of Kit-Kats (Alanna seems to think this is my favourite chocolate — it’s actually Twix but hey, I’ll eat any brand of chocolate — LOL!) and a pot of pink phalaenopsis orchids. Jason’s probably left me a cheesy greeting card.
When he gets back, he uses up all the dishes in the kitchen trying to make me my favourite breakfast meal: Eggs Benedict. He will use all the eggs he needs to make a perfectly poached egg. I will get mad that he’s wasting our organic groceries. Continue reading “365: Write about your perfect day in exactly one year’s time”
From GoFundMe: If you haven’t heard by now, Jason was found Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity on two counts, a third one was dismissed. He was ordered to be hospitalized until doctors feel he’s safe for release into the community. The Toronto Star (http://bit.ly/2q420sv) and CityNews (see below) did a follow-up.
I’m confident he can start the process of transitioning back into the community sooner, rather than later. He’s doing really well on his meds.
In many ways, hospitalization is good news. But, it’s also terrible news because it means that The State could be in our lives for the next 10.5 years, and it means we’ll be apart for at least the next 6 months, as his first assessment likely won’t be until October. (The psychiatrist at the hearing said she felt it was important Jason be near his family and advocated for him to be moved closer to home. I’m glad we got that on the record but, I’m pessimistic that the State would be willing to lose jurisdiction over the case.)
I’ve always been critical of the fact that despite how sick Jason was, he was constantly taken back and forth between the hospital and jail. He spent 116 days in custody, most of that time in county lock-up. After the trial, he had to wait in jail for a bed at the hospital. Also, his thyroid issues have remained largely ignored — which could actually be fatal if left untreated. Continue reading “UPDATE: Jason is NOT GUILTY”
From GoFundMe: New write-up as of today: Hi! My name is Precious. I’m the wife of Jason, a US Army veteran who did two tours in Iraq in 2003 and 2008.
Jason is a father of four. We have three kids together: Alanna, 5, Liberty, 3, and Charles, 2.
Jason went missing sometime overnight on Nov. 28/29. He appeared several hours later at his father’s house, in his hometown, where he got into some trouble during a psychotic break from undiagnosed mental illnesses he probably acquired during active duty.
For those of you who haven’t had a chance, please check out the Toronto Star article here and the CityNews video clip here . I haven’t had much time to keep this page updated. Partly because I’m so overwhelmed but also because I’m at a loss at how my husband’s case has progressed. Neither tells the full story and there are a few inconsistencies but, it will give you the general idea of the history of Jason’s case.
I micro-blog about him on Twitter and Facebook regularly and I’ve become a pretty outspoken advocate for the treatment of not only justice-involved veterans but mentally ill defendants going through the system. I’ve seen things that we only talk about but can’t seem to change. Once my husband’s case has concluded, I’ve definitely got some plans to try and see what we can do to address those flaws. But, that’s not what this page is about. Continue reading “UPDATE: Please help this veteran’s family”
Few people know that my husband, Jason, and I, have actually known each other since we were teenagers.
Growing up, we were both part of the same Judeo-Christian faith, part of an international organization with initiatives around the world.
One of those initiatives was bible camp.
I always laugh when I tell people that we actually met at a church camp in Pennsylvania one fateful August. I think I was 13 and he was 15, although we argue about the exact year.
Girls (pink) and boys (blue) were split into separate dorms. We weren’t allowed to make any purple, they told us. And at dances and events, there always had to be a bible’s width between us.
Continue reading “The Story of PB&J”
Sorry I haven’t provided updates. I was so tired by the time Christmas Day came, I gave up and pushed it a day. We pretended Christmas Day was Christmas Eve and opened presents on Boxing Day.
One of my husband’s friends and his wife gave us a small turkey and stuffing that I cooked. Another friend generously donated the stocking stuffers while an old friend from high school coordinated anonymously-donated Christmas presents for the kids. It was amazing. The generosity was overwhelming.
Alanna’s school also gifted us a box of food, a gift card and four hot meals during winter break.
We are so touched by everyone’s love and support. It has carried us through this tough chapter of our lives. I’m sorry if I forgot to thank anyone. It’s unintentional.
Not much has changed. Jason was released from the psychiatric facility but was taken back to jail to face the charges you probably saw on the news and in the previous update. I’ve been saving up to bond him out but am not sure when that will be as it’s such a large amount.
But we are trying really hard to be positive.
I realize this picture is two weeks old now and is kinda late but I still wanted to share it.
And also, here is our Christmas video from last year.
We hope you all have a blessed New Year.
I haven’t posted an update for 10 days because I was waiting for what I thought was going to be good news. I really thought I was going to have good news for you guys today. But no, I have not so great news. I’m tired. I feel extremely defeated. Please, just watch the video I made today. I apologize for the jumping around. I was in shock when I made the video.
I haven’t shared a “lesson” in a while so, let me share this one with you. I want to try and stay positive despite how horrible all of this has been.
Lesson #6: Jason went through a phase when he was obsessed with canes. We had just trimmed the beautiful Birch in front of our home at the time and he picked out a beautiful naturally-cane-shaped piece. He worked on this thing for weeks. He painted it. He sanded it. He refinished it. It was beautiful. He always told me I could have it when he died (from old-age, that is).
One day, he was walking in the park and he spotted a senior struggling to walk. He was leaned over a park bench and he was clearly struggling. Jason walked over, handed his cane to him and said, “Here, you can have this.” The man was so grateful.
This thing was a labour of love. And he easily gave it to someone who needed it. He didn’t hesitate. It didn’t break his heart to part with it. I remember being upset that he had let go of something I had grown sentimentally attached. But looking back, I think that was a beautiful gesture. Yet another stranger whose life Jason touched.
These are the moments most people don’t see. The moments that show me why I know I made the right choice in marrying this BEAUTIFUL SOUL.
Jason was featured in a lead story on City News Toronto tonight. I’m not sure what this means in the fight to bring him home. But hopefully, it helps explain the situation further.
Thank you CityNews and Avery Haines: CLICK HERE or view below.