The original video I posted from two weeks ago is below:
When I was in my late teens, there was a karaoke bar that I used to go to with my friends.
There was always this middle-aged guy who would be drunk way too early, and he would get up on stage and sing Wildflower by Skylark to me.
I never knew his name. He never asked me my name. We weren’t attracted to each other or anything. We never talked. But, right before I left, every time I went there, he would get up and sing me this song.
It was flattering and it also cracked me up.
After everything that’s happened recently, the song has come back to haunt me. There’s one particular line that’s on constant loop in my head.
The way she’s always paying for a debt she never owes.
Marrying young Continue reading “OK. So, I’m a little… er… a lot bitter…”
It’s been almost 2 months since I’ve posted anything meaningful.
A lot of it has to do with feeling detached and emotionally numb.
That’s not to say I don’t feel anything. I cycle through extreme joy, extreme sorrow and then extreme NOTHINGNESS.
Sometimes, I think that I feel so much that there’s a switch that my brain turns off for me. My physical body just isn’t allowing things to set in completely.
It’s very Vampire Diaries.
From GoFundMe: Gonna try and keep this short and sweet. 🙂
When Jason was admitted, he was admitted to the first available bed, which wasn’t the unit he was meant to stay in. We had set up all these medical appointments with the VA but unfortunately, he was moved and all the proper paperwork was not put through so, his medical appointments got postponed.
Anyway, he was finally properly assessed and cleared to go to his appointments on Friday. They decided to kill two birds with one stone and expedited him to Level 2 (since the forensic team was coming out to clear him to go to medical appointments, they decided to do the level 2 assessment, also). The paperwork isn’t written up yet but, we’re told he got the thumbs up.
Update from GoFundMe: Prayer warriors: I am appealing to you all to pray, meditate and send all the positive vibes you can our way.
Tomorrow is Jason’s status conference, which is a hearing of sorts. It’s my understanding that a lot has to be done at this meeting and a lot needs to be put on the record.
We’ve already received the second assessment regarding his diagnoses and it backed up the first assessment so, there can’t be any more assessments to slow down the case. The only thing that could potentially stall the end is if the judge, defense and prosecution can’t agree on conditions.
Hopefully, a roadmap will be set to the end of Jason’s case and we’ll have some idea of when this will all end.
If you all recall, Jason’s case entered the 5th month last Wednesday. As of tomorrow, his case would be 125 days old.
The last court hearing — when the judge revoked Jason’s bond on the same day he had a crucial appointment with the VA, and several other appointments shortly after that — that day kind of broke me emotionally. It really shattered my hope that there’s any kind of justice in the “justice system.”
We’ve had our wins. Two favourable reports are certainly huge victories but, it’s really disheartening to know that while the system is changing, it’s still lagging behind compared to the research and dialogue regarding mental illness and justice-involved veterans.
Google reminded me of what we were doing on this same exact weekend a year ago. It reminded me of this family photograph we took in Ravenna when we came down for his eldest son’s birthday. I will leave you with this photo.
God bless. Peace and love to all of you.
Precious, Alanna, Liberty, Charles (and Jason)
Update 13 from GoFundMe: Jason spent the last week in a psychiatric facility, which sounds great and all, but the whole thing has been extremely confusing and frustrating.
First of all, the judge verbally ordered that he go to a psychiatric facility. We were told he wouldn’t end up in jail yet, he waited 8 days in jail for a bed before he actually wound up in the psychiatric facility. Continue reading “UPDATE: Jason is going back to jail”
From GoFundMe: New write-up as of today: Hi! My name is Precious. I’m the wife of Jason, a US Army veteran who did two tours in Iraq in 2003 and 2008.
Jason is a father of four. We have three kids together: Alanna, 5, Liberty, 3, and Charles, 2.
Jason went missing sometime overnight on Nov. 28/29. He appeared several hours later at his father’s house, in his hometown, where he got into some trouble during a psychotic break from undiagnosed mental illnesses he probably acquired during active duty.
For those of you who haven’t had a chance, please check out the Toronto Star article here and the CityNews video clip here . I haven’t had much time to keep this page updated. Partly because I’m so overwhelmed but also because I’m at a loss at how my husband’s case has progressed. Neither tells the full story and there are a few inconsistencies but, it will give you the general idea of the history of Jason’s case.
I micro-blog about him on Twitter and Facebook regularly and I’ve become a pretty outspoken advocate for the treatment of not only justice-involved veterans but mentally ill defendants going through the system. I’ve seen things that we only talk about but can’t seem to change. Once my husband’s case has concluded, I’ve definitely got some plans to try and see what we can do to address those flaws. But, that’s not what this page is about. Continue reading “UPDATE: Please help this veteran’s family”
UPDATE FROM GOFUNDME: When Jason was first indicted, I lost my faith in the system. I felt he was tied up in procedure. Despite the fact everyone knew he needed help, his overall care (more comprehensive than just psychiatry) was ignored. My faith was restored when I was able to get him out.
Well, yesterday, despite doing everything the courts asked. Despite cooperating and adhering to the conditions of his bond, despite actively seeking treatment while out, despite having a number of very IMPORTANT APPOINTMENTS CRITICAL TO ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS OF WHY ALL OF THIS HAPPENED, HIS BOND WAS REVOKED.
When my husband was arrested in November and taken to the emergency room of a local hospital, I was grateful. They stabalized a thyroid crisis he was having and then transferred him to a psychiatric facility where he was restored, diagnosed, treated/medicated and then released.
But because of the manner in which he was admitted, he was released into police custody. That meant they sent him to jail. It was obvious to EVERYONE, including the arresting officers, that jail probably wasn’t where he belonged, but due to procedure, that’s where he ended up.
Still with an unresolved thyroid issue and unspecified PTSD, while he was given some care, it ignored the impact his service as a veteran had on what is going on. Continue reading “The mentally ill are GUILTY until proven inncoent”
I wanted to make a video in support of Bell Let’s Talk Day, however, so much has happened over the past few years alone that, I couldn’t find a topic to focus on. So, I decided instead, to touch on a little bit of everything to show I how much I love and support everyone involved in mental health awareness and those that are working to end the stigma of mental illness.