#BringJasonHome · Love & Marriage · Mental Health · Veteran Affairs

OK. So, I’m a little… er… a lot bitter…

When I was in my late teens, there was a karaoke bar that I used to go to with my friends.

There was always this middle-aged guy who would be drunk way too early, and he would get up on stage and sing Wildflower by Skylark to me.

I never knew his name. He never asked me my name. We weren’t attracted to each other or anything. We never talked. But, right before I left, every time I went there, he would get up and sing me this song.

It was flattering and it also cracked me up.

After everything that’s happened recently, the song has come back to haunt me. There’s one particular line that’s on constant loop in my head.

The way she’s always paying for a debt she never owes.

Marrying young Continue reading “OK. So, I’m a little… er… a lot bitter…”

Health & Wellness · Mental Health · Veteran Affairs

A veteran’s wife deserves respect, too!

tackle it

It’s been almost 2 months since I’ve posted anything meaningful.

A lot of it has to do with feeling detached and emotionally numb.

That’s not to say I don’t feel anything. I cycle through extreme joy, extreme sorrow and then extreme NOTHINGNESS.

Sometimes, I think that I feel so much that there’s a switch that my brain turns off for me. My physical body just isn’t allowing things to set in completely.

It’s very Vampire Diaries.

Continue reading “A veteran’s wife deserves respect, too!”

Mental Health · Religion & Spirituality

#GirlOnFire

Spirit of Marilyn callin’ me, audibly
Bawlin’ she, said that she would never leave
Continued to torture me
Telling me to come with her
Underneath my comforter
And she brought a gun with her
Pills and some rum with her
Tip me on the balcony
Telling me to jump with her
Yeah I’m in the ghost but I ain’t doing stunts with her
I ain’t tryna be that
Haters wanna see that
But I got ’em aggy
‘Cause I win the gold like Gabby Continue reading “#GirlOnFire”

#BringJasonHome · Health & Wellness · Love & Marriage · Mental Health · Religion & Spirituality

Soul searching…

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There’s something very awkward about having a public persona.

We live in a world where people Google you after you first meet. They make assumptions about you and know tidbits about your life that are most likely, way out of context.

The publicity was necessary. I wanted to make sure Jason didn’t go to prison.

There’s a lot of things that can’t be put on the record or the judge won’t allow it to be on the record. It was important to me that our story be told so Jason could get the help he needed.

I advocated so hard and so fiercely that it took a lot from me. Continue reading “Soul searching…”

#BringJasonHome · Mental Health

UPDATE: Once a soldier, always a soldier…

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Update from GoFundMe: Hi everyone!! I know it’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted an update. I didn’t feel up to sharing every single thought or event over the past month or so. (I know, what a surprise.) I thought I’d post an update sometime over the past few days but it was Memorial Day weekend and it didn’t seem appropriate since it’s a solemn celebration in honour of those who paid the ultimate price for us.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, Jason was moved up to Level 2 (see previous update). This meant he could FINALLY see the kids. But because of Mother’s Day and staff shortage, he wasn’t able to see the kids until last weekend. It was the first time Charles, Liberty and Alanna had seen him in 3 months.

I also spent a few hours with him during visitation on Saturday and for the first time, Jason and I had a serious talk about the future. It was a really difficult conversation.

He kept talking about re-enlisting after he got out of there. I know it’s not about me but it was very hard to listen to. He kept talking about wanting to go back to the army. Wanting to do more. Wanting to give more. That he had so much more to offer. He wanted to be medically fit enough to go back. I just didn’t really know what to say. Continue reading “UPDATE: Once a soldier, always a soldier…”

365: Daily Journaling

365: 100 Ways to Make Money

List 100 ways you can make money. Watch out for exciting discoveries towards the end.

  1. Babysitting/home daycare.
  2. Joining an MLM (although that takes a lot of time and usually start-up costs).
  3. Blogging, vlogging, online social media.
  4. Bake and sell cupcakes.
  5. Buy something bulk and resell it (i.e. buy 100 scarfs off e-Bay at a cheap price, sell them at a retail price).
  6. Collect junk around your neighbourhood and re-sell.
  7. Go through your neighbours’ recycling (ask for permission, obviously). Find alcohol bottles and/or aluminum cans and take them back to their respective stores to receive a deposit refund.
  8. Do yard-work or be a handyman/handywoman for a neighbour.
  9. Work as a cashier.
  10. Make sandwiches for Subway.
  11. Deliver pizza.
  12. Grow fruits and vegetables at home and sell them at a Farmer’s Market.
  13. Cook or bake stuff at home and sell them at a Farmer’s Market.
  14. Cook or bake something, get nice labelling, take them to a store and ask them to sell it for you.
  15. Uber.
  16. Kijiji.
  17. Sign up for social assistance.
  18. Invest money, if you have it.
  19. Sell stuff you don’t need or use anymore (that sounds like no. 16, though).
  20. Sell lemonade on your driveway.
  21. Have a garage sale (I’ve only had one garage sale ever and I made almost $2,000 in one day).
  22. Sell your house if it has equity. Cha-ching.
  23. Be an exotic dancer.
  24. Be an escort.
  25. Be an exotic dancer and an escort.
  26. Stand on a street corner. (Don’t solicit. That’s illegal.)
  27. Be a motivational speaker.
  28. Desktop publishing or ad design.
  29. Be a personal assistant.
  30. Be a live-in nanny (variation of no. 1).
  31. Be a courier. Use your bike if you don’t have a car.
  32. Grow weed and sell wholesale (legally).
  33. Sell weed to consumers (legally).
  34. Become a consultant.
  35. Become a nutritionist or dietician.
  36. Join the Army.
  37. Join the Marines.
  38. Join the Navy.
  39. Join Special Forces.
  40. Be a police officer.
  41. Be a firefighter.
  42. Join EMS.
  43. Be a 9-1-1 dispatcher.
  44. Be a doctor (although I’d argue that would put you in a lot of debt before it made you money).
  45. Be a lawyer (see disclaimer after no. 44).
  46. Sue someone who deserves it.
  47. Look for a grant, bursary or scholarship if you’re a student.
  48. Look at government grants for a cause or business idea you have.
  49. Buy a house. Flip it. Sell it for more.
  50. Buy a house or car (or anything for that matter) on auction or repossession and resell it at market value (or higher).
  51. Become a nurse.
  52. Be a social worker.
  53. Be a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
  54. Be a personal support worker.
  55. Sell coffee at a coffee cart.
  56. Be a street food vendor.
  57. Sell ice cream on a truck or on a cart.
  58. Offer delivery service (i.e. groceries to your door, cookies to your door, muffins to your office, etc.).
  59. Type out transcripts for a living (i.e. a lot of doctors dictate notes into a recorder and someone has to type them out).
  60. Get a social media job for a reputable business (someone has to manage those big companies’ Twitter accounts).
  61. Be a chef.
  62. Be a baker.
  63. Do stand-up comedy.
  64. Start a band and go to open mic night.
  65. Start a wedding band.
  66. Be a wedding photographer.
  67. Be a wedding planner.
  68. Be a caterer.
  69. Start an event service (i.e. provide waiters, ushers, etc.).
  70. Sell your own paintings or drawings.
  71. Go to a garage/yard sale, peruse, buy under-priced items. Re-sell them.
  72. Sell someone else’s paintings and drawings for them. Take a cut of the selling price.
  73. Distribute newspapers.
  74. Sell newspaper and magazine subscriptions (yeah, those still exist).
  75. Sell stuff door-to-door (yeah, that still happens).
  76. Be a party clown for a living.
  77. Design cars.
  78. Design houses.
  79. Design clothes.
  80. Make movies/videos.
  81. Get paid to write (that sounds like no. 3).
  82. Make sure you own all sorts of insurance policies for all sorts of possible things that could go wrong (although that could cost you more than it would make you).
  83. Take online surveys for a living.
  84. Be a secret shopper for a living (quality control).
  85. Be a secret shopper for security.
  86. Be a security guard.
  87. Be a bounty hunter.
  88. Be a bail bondsman.
  89. Sell things that people actually need (i.e. food, toiletries).
  90. Along with no. 89, start a convenience store.
  91. Along with no. 90, start a convenience delivery store (think Dollar Shave Club for other necessities).
  92. Cut and style hair.
  93. Cut and style people and clothes (huh?).
  94. Be a stunt double.
  95. Ask people to pay you to do things for them (not sexual things).
  96. Go to a temp agency and ask for a placement.
  97. Be the agent at the temp agency that gets other people placements.
  98. Join a not-for-profit organization full-time.
  99. Be a video-site partner (i.e. YouTube, Vimeo, Facebook, etc.).
  100. Seriously. Just get a job. Any job will make you more money than if you DIDN’T have a job.
Health & Wellness · Ovarian Cancer

Four years ago today… #LadyBalls

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Four years ago today, I took my mom to the Sunnybrook Hospital emergency room for what I suspected was a stroke.

It turned out, she had a stroke, likely as a complication of Stage IV #OvarianCancer. Two major debulking surgeries, bilateral nephrostomy bags inserted and removed, put into palliative care, removed from palliative care, no chemo, over a month of radiation treatments and one recurrence later, she’s still with us. Continue reading “Four years ago today… #LadyBalls”

365: Daily Journaling

365: Shuffle your iPod and list the first 10 songs

…and explain their meaning.

People still have iPods?

Anyway, I subscribe to a streaming service these days so, I decided to shuffle the last playlist I listened to. And sorry but, I’m not gonna explain their meaning to me. Some of them mean something — others, I just happened to be listening to. Lol.

  1. That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars
  2. Same Old Love by Selena Gomez
  3. Lost+ (with Jay-Z) by Coldplay
  4. Just a Fool (with Blake Shelton) by Christina Aguilera
  5. Burn by Ellie Goulding
  6. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (with Taylor Swift) by ZAYN
  7. Stay by Rihanna
  8. Cheap Thrills by Sia
  9. Chandelier by Sia
  10. This is What You Came For (featuring Rihanna) by Calvin Harris

PS: This journal prompt makes me feel like I’m a teenager again. I feel like I’ve just gone back a decade-and-half in maturity.